What is your Enemy?

[owlcool]

This thread is a place for those of us on ProjectKorra to talk about our various problems if we so wish, and to help the rest of us gain an understanding of various users' perspectives and experiences, and it is a place for everyone here to give advice on defeating their Enemy.

Your Enemy, in this context, is simply some flaw that holds you back. If you hate somebody but don't have to give them the time of day, then they are not your Enemy in this context. If you hate somebody and they consistently get in your way, then they can be considered your Enemy, however in most cases, your Enemy should be a part of yourself.

Do you procrastinate way too much? Do you have a phobia that gets in the way of your daily life, occupation, or hobby? Do you have trouble getting close to other people? Do you have a bad habit that you are trying to kick, whether physiologically or psychologically? Do you have any physical issues from birth that continue to effect you today? Is Culture itself your enemy in some form or fashion?

This thread is for you if you answered yes to any of these questions.

 

[xNuminousx]

In a way, ProjectKorra is my enemy.

Not in the sense that it intentionally harms me or anything, it's just my own personal tether to ProjectKorra that happens to be my enemy. For starters, it consumes most of my time. What do I do when I get home? I check ProjectKorra. After that? I check ProjectKorra Trello. After that? I check ProjectKorra GitHub. After that? I go back to ProjectKorra forums to see if anything changes in the minute I was gone. After that? I play a ProjectKorra server. After that? I open eclipse to work on a ProjectKorra project of some sort.

Now, that's sort of an exaggeration. Yes, a lot (if not most) of my time is spent doing something ProjectKorra related, but that's not ALL I do. Like I recently picked up piano again; I haven't played for a few years now. I'm sending in college applications and registering for SATs. I'm in Astronomy, Calculus, AP Government, English 4 and Choir in school. I'll probably be involved in theatre productions later this year. So, this just shows that although I do other things, my "free" time is defined by ProjectKorra. What do I do when I'm not doing school work or other hobbies? Checking on ProjectKorra.

So I'd say in this situation, my biggest enemy is myself (which is what this thread should be about (Not me but the enemy that is yourself)). I attempted to take a break from ProjectKorra a while back but... Guess what I did.... I just joined while logged off my account... That was my definition of a break from ProjectKorra apparently.

Call me obsessed if you want, you're probably right. I just don't have anything else in my life to fill that empty space of purpose right now. I have no distractions. The teachers in my school don't care enough to make things difficult, the piano is fun but I can only focus on it for moments at a time, and I'm sure college will take up more time but who knows. When I moved up to High School from Middle School I thought it'd be 10x different and 5x harder like all the teachers in Middle School kept telling us, but they were wrong. In the time before I found ProjectKorra, I was invested into a server. I maintained a server and that's what filled this void. With ProjectKorra, the void couldn't take anymore space so now that's why the server is no longer with us.

I know I may seem somewhat negative, aggressive or defensive on here. It's not coming from a place of negativity, but rather the opposite. It's coming from a place of deep care. I've spent so much time here, more than I'm comfortable with admitting; but it's happened and it's real. I'm already in head deep so there's no turning back now.

 

[owlcool]

In a way, ProjectKorra is my enemy.

Not in the sense that it intentionally harms me or anything, it's just my own personal tether to ProjectKorra that happens to be my enemy. For starters, it consumes most of my time. What do I do when I get home? I check ProjectKorra. After that? I check ProjectKorra Trello. After that? I check ProjectKorra GitHub. After that? I go back to ProjectKorra forums to see if anything changes in the minute I was gone. After that? I play a ProjectKorra server. After that? I open eclipse to work on a ProjectKorra project of some sort.

Now, that's sort of an exaggeration. Yes, a lot (if not most) of my time is spent doing something ProjectKorra related, but that's not ALL I do. Like I recently picked up piano again; I haven't played for a few years now. I'm sending in college applications and registering for SATs. I'm in Astronomy, Calculus, AP Government, English 4 and Choir in school. I'll probably be involved in theatre productions later this year. So, this just shows that although I do other things, my "free" time is defined by ProjectKorra. What do I do when I'm not doing school work or other hobbies? Checking on ProjectKorra.

So I'd say in this situation, my biggest enemy is myself (which is what this thread should be about (Not me but the enemy that is yourself)). I attempted to take a break from ProjectKorra a while back but... Guess what I did.... I just joined while logged off my account... That was my definition of a break from ProjectKorra apparently.

Call me obsessed if you want, you're probably right. I just don't have anything else in my life to fill that empty space of purpose right now. I have no distractions. The teachers in my school don't care enough to make things difficult, the piano is fun but I can only focus on it for moments at a time, and I'm sure college will take up more time but who knows. When I moved up to High School from Middle School I thought it'd be 10x different and 5x harder like all the teachers in Middle School kept telling us, but they were wrong. In the time before I found ProjectKorra, I was invested into a server. I maintained a server and that's what filled this void. With ProjectKorra, the void couldn't take anymore space so now that's why the server is no longer with us.

I know I may seem somewhat negative, aggressive or defensive on here. It's not coming from a place of negativity, but rather the opposite. It's coming from a place of deep care. I've spent so much time here, more than I'm comfortable with admitting; but it's happened and it's real. I'm already in head deep so there's no turning back now.

Thank you for starting off this thread.

My enemy would have to be my shyness.
I have a Speech Disorder called Apraxia of Speech, and it was something that could never leave the back of my mind. Eventually because of this, I became, for lack of a better phrase, stupidly annoying. I started doing team projects in classes on my own, and I consistently succeeded without putting in much more effort than usual.
Eventually, I stopped wanting to get close to people.
My disorder of Apraxia of Speech isn't going to go away any time soon, but I can still improve on my sociability. For a start, I make bad puns every day.
Just an hour ago, somebody wasn't able to understand what I was saying, and I finally felt fine with that, as opposed to feeling offended and suppressing my feelings, and knowing that this state of mind can continue feels great.

In a way, ProjectKorra is my enemy.

Not in the sense that it intentionally harms me or anything, it's just my own personal tether to ProjectKorra that happens to be my enemy. For starters, it consumes most of my time. What do I do when I get home? I check ProjectKorra. After that? I check ProjectKorra Trello. After that? I check ProjectKorra GitHub. After that? I go back to ProjectKorra forums to see if anything changes in the minute I was gone. After that? I play a ProjectKorra server. After that? I open eclipse to work on a ProjectKorra project of some sort.

Now, that's sort of an exaggeration. Yes, a lot (if not most) of my time is spent doing something ProjectKorra related, but that's not ALL I do. Like I recently picked up piano again; I haven't played for a few years now. I'm sending in college applications and registering for SATs. I'm in Astronomy, Calculus, AP Government, English 4 and Choir in school. I'll probably be involved in theatre productions later this year. So, this just shows that although I do other things, my "free" time is defined by ProjectKorra. What do I do when I'm not doing school work or other hobbies? Checking on ProjectKorra.

So I'd say in this situation, my biggest enemy is myself (which is what this thread should be about (Not me but the enemy that is yourself)). I attempted to take a break from ProjectKorra a while back but... Guess what I did.... I just joined while logged off my account... That was my definition of a break from ProjectKorra apparently.

Call me obsessed if you want, you're probably right. I just don't have anything else in my life to fill that empty space of purpose right now. I have no distractions. The teachers in my school don't care enough to make things difficult, the piano is fun but I can only focus on it for moments at a time, and I'm sure college will take up more time but who knows. When I moved up to High School from Middle School I thought it'd be 10x different and 5x harder like all the teachers in Middle School kept telling us, but they were wrong. In the time before I found ProjectKorra, I was invested into a server. I maintained a server and that's what filled this void. With ProjectKorra, the void couldn't take anymore space so now that's why the server is no longer with us.

I know I may seem somewhat negative, aggressive or defensive on here. It's not coming from a place of negativity, but rather the opposite. It's coming from a place of deep care. I've spent so much time here, more than I'm comfortable with admitting; but it's happened and it's real. I'm already in head deep so there's no turning back now.

I think using a website like ProjectKorra is fine. There are those of us that don't want to talk to people as themselves, so they take up Pseudonyms. The average person spends time on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat. I personally think it is fine to spend your time on websites like Reddit, Imgur, and yes, ProjectKorra instead of those websites. Now if you do eventually want to pick up a hobby/skill such as Piano, I would recommend using a timer called a Pomodoro. If you don't already know about this, there is information online about the Pomodoro method. You seem to have procrastination figured out, though.

 

[Finn_Bueno_]

Life.

 

[MeskenasBoii]

I do have an enemy that is holding me back.

Do you procrastinate way too much? Do you have a phobia that gets in the way of your daily life, occupation, or hobby? Do you have trouble getting close to other people? Do you have a bad habit that you are trying to kick, whether physiologically or psychologically? Do you have any physical issues from birth that continue to effect you today? Is Culture itself your enemy in some form or fashion?

Lol, funny but I have a "YES" to all (except maybe 5th) questions.

I do tackle procrasting a lot, but to a serious/riduculious degree, lol.

 

[owlcool]

I do have an enemy that is holding me back.


Lol, funny but I have a "YES" to all (except maybe 5th) questions.

I do tackle procrasting a lot, but to a serious/riduculious degree, lol.

Would you elaborate(I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious, as I practically always am)? At the very least, writing this sort of thing out can help you discover yourself, so even if you don't post something on here, type something out about yourself, whether on a .txt file on a pc or laptop, on a document in Google Drive on a Chromebook, or on a notepad app on a phone or tablet.

 

[MeskenasBoii]

Too personal. Don't really feel comfortable sharing too much about my life. To keep it short, I sometimes worrying thoughts and anxiety sometimes gets over me. I didn't have a very good teenage life. I had struggle through harsh things. I can only get vague as that with what I can share about myself.

 

[MeskenasBoii]

It's nice to know to that you dediced to share such an a thread, even though it looks a bit weird of this particular forum (it's almost dead and uninteresting as it used to be).

 

[owlcool]

Too personal. Don't really feel comfortable sharing too much about my life. To keep it short, I sometimes worrying thoughts and anxiety sometimes gets over me. I didn't have a very good teenage life. I had struggle through harsh things. I can only get vague as that with what I can share about myself.

In any case, make sure to write it down like how I described, even if you do just immediately delete it.

It's nice to know to that you dediced to share such an a thread, even though it looks a bit weird of this particular forum (it's almost dead and uninteresting as it used to be).

Who knows, maybe it will get a revival over the weekend due to threads about Puns and personal troubles.
Besides, ProjectKorra has what I would describe as a "perfect community feel," I think we feel like we actually know each other despite never actually seeing each other. Websites like Reddit and Quora can't compare in the regard of having an actual Community, and you can't hide your identity on Quora, which is fairly essential for discussions like these.

 

[Vahagn]

I guess I have a bunch of problems, but I'm pretty sure it stems from the fact that I'm insecure about a lot of things, such as acting too feminine, being gossiped about, false rumors being spread about me, seeming promiscuous, and to the point where I simply cannot trust super popular people, avoid being the center of attention outside of the classroom, constantly cover myself up, refused to do anything with my ex in public (we were and still are great friends , I just wasn't ready for a relationship and rushed into it to quickly.)

 

[MeskenasBoii]

I guess I could just open myself a bit, because I don't think I have anything else to lose with what I already did. I could write down, but with the neglection of english I have ._. I can't seem to find any perfection in myself, many have already lost trust on me, I can't get out myself out of the comfort zone, too antisocial (imo), pretty too awkward, many don't seem to like me, yada yada yada.

 

[owlcool]

I guess I have a bunch of problems, but I'm pretty sure it stems from the fact that I'm insecure about a lot of things, such as acting too feminine, being gossiped about, false rumors being spread about me, seeming promiscuous, and to the point where I simply cannot trust super popular people, avoid being the center of attention outside of the classroom, constantly cover myself up, refused to do anything with my ex in public (we were and still are great friends , I just wasn't ready for a relationship and rushed into it to quickly.)

So your enemy is your own insecurity.
So, prove to yourself how secure you are, and if you aren't actually secure or can't get yourself to go about proving yourself to yourself, train yourself to defeat your enemy.
For starters, if you aren't already, start working out consistently. Even if you don't have any equipment, you can still workout through pushups, pullups, squats, frog jumps, jump roping, and jogging.
You don't need to worry about appearing feminine once you have a certain amount of confidence from working out.
Another thing I will recommend is that you start making bad puns to people to help you feel more secure in your social standing.

I guess I could just open myself a bit, because I don't think I have anything else to lose with what I already did. I could write down, but with the neglection of english I have ._. I can't seem to find any perfection in myself, many have already lost trust on me, I can't get out myself out of the comfort zone, too antisocial (imo), pretty too awkward, many don't seem to like me, yada yada yada.

Well, with the amount of English you know, I may be misinterpreting what you mean, perhaps you mean something stronger than what you are saying. In any case, I will do my best to support you based on what you have said.

Your enemy seems to be similar to ArchBear_Vega's enemy, in that you are insecure in yourself as well. Your actual enemy is probably a mixture of self hatred and a lack of trust from society, likely due to some mundane, complicated past, so perhaps your enemy is your past.

In any case, this is my advice to you. Start by trying to find one part about you that is actually good. Build upon that part to try and make a whole, and if you can't find a singular part of you that is actually good, find a good trait, whether it be to always thank the Bus Driver, always get the door for other people, or to try and catch things people drop, and build upon that. Even if you mess up while building on that, you can still learn from your experiences and change yourself for the next time.

 

[Vahagn]

So your enemy is your own insecurity.
So, prove to yourself how secure you are, and if you aren't actually secure or can't get yourself to go about proving yourself to yourself, train yourself.
For starters, if you aren't already, start working out consistently. Even if you don't have any equipment, you can still workout through pushups, pullups, squats, frog jumps, jump roping, and jogging.
You don't need to worry about appearing feminine once you have a certain amount of confidence from working out.
Another thing I will recommend is that you start making bad puns to people to help you feel more secure in your social standing.

While I do appreciate the concern, my femininity comes from my actions, not from my appearance, although I should have clarified that earlier.

 

[owlcool]

While I do appreciate the concern, my femininity comes from my actions, not from my appearance, although I should have clarified that earlier.

What sort of actions? Gardening is a respectable hobby.

 

[MeskenasBoii]

Wish I could give you two more ratings than one Thank you for the tips

 

[Vahagn]

What sort of actions? Gardening is a respectable hobby.

Swaying my hips when I walk, putting my arm on my hip, not hanging out often with other males, dancing, listening to certain artists that people deem feminine, generally being more submissive in my relationships than the leader ( i don't like taking control )

and its not like I don't enjoy doing these things, its just the people I'm around

 

[owlcool]

Wish I could give you two more ratings than one Thank you for the tips

Just focus on improving yourself, and once you have defeated your enemy, help the next person you see defeat their enemy.

Swaying my hips when I walk, putting my arm on my hip, not hanging out often with other males, dancing, listening to certain artists that people deem feminine, generally being more submissive in my relationships than the leader ( i don't like taking control )

and its not like I don't enjoy doing these things, its just the people I'm around

Okay, turn it into a running joke, then.
If people call you feminine for doing things like putting your hands on your hips, then adapt the personality of an assertive woman for a few moments and make it a joke. Of course, make sure to practice it so that this will be obvious, and be prepared to be laughed at if you don't laugh along with them.

 

[Vahagn]

Just focus on improving yourself, and once you have defeated your enemy, help the next person you see defeat their enemy.

Okay, turn it into a running joke, then.
If people call you feminine for doing things like putting your hands on your hips, then adapt the personality of an assertive woman for a few moments and make it a joke. Of course, make sure to practice it so that this will be obvious, and be prepared to be laughed at if you don't laugh along with them.

That is a really funny idea, I'll be sure to try it the next time someone does that, Thanks

 

[xNuminousx]

Swaying my hips when I walk, putting my arm on my hip, not hanging out often with other males, dancing, listening to certain artists that people deem feminine, generally being more submissive in my relationships than the leader ( i don't like taking control )

and its not like I don't enjoy doing these things, its just the people I'm around

I completely understand you on this Arch. I may be male, but I do find a sort of inner power or confidence when it comes to being feminine. When I feel my hips move when I walk I feel like I can do anything in the world. Just that small notion to myself helps me feel confidence. But as soon as I turn the corner and see someone, everything just seems to wash away because me, a male, doing something as feminine as swinging my hips isn't generally accepted. Sure, people may act like they accept me, but it's the paranoia in my own head that gets to me. Me thinking of all the thoughts they could be having while watching me. The amount of hatred that must be running through their mind. Of course, I know that they probably aren't thinking those things. But I'm not used to be myself around other people so of course I would jump to the worst case scenario. Unfortunately, I don't even feel confident around my own best friends. Anytime I see that I'm being too feminine, I immediately catch my thoughts and rebase myself. I can literally feel my body pushing me to do one thing, but as soon as I realize what I'm doing I gather myself and act how society wants me to.

I've tried turning it into a joke, but as funny as it is it didn't help me personally. I may laugh in the moment, but when I go home I just think: "Why was it so funny that I was being feminine? Why does it have to be turned into a joke for me to be myself?" Which starts an avalanche of self doubt which I hate to go through. I have full, undoubted confidence when I'm alone. I can sing my heart out, strut through the kitchen, blare Hannah Montana and not feel an ounce of shame. And it feels good. But as soon as I see a shadow move, an eye glare, or even a reflection I'll halt and gather myself to present and acceptable me who isn't really me. That is the grand question. Gaining confidence to be in front of an audience. I've performed many plays in my time, and the part of Me is the hardest part I've had to play.

 

[Vahagn]

I completely understand you on this Arch. I may be male, but I do find a sort of inner power or confidence when it comes to being feminine. When I feel my hips move when I walk I feel like I can do anything in the world. Just that small notion to myself helps me feel confidence. But as soon as I turn the corner and see someone, everything just seems to wash away because me, a male, doing something as feminine as swinging my hips isn't generally accepted. Sure, people may act like they accept me, but it's the paranoia in my own head that gets to me. Me thinking of all the thoughts they could be having while watching me. The amount of hatred that must be running through their mind. Of course, I know that they probably aren't thinking those things. But I'm not used to be myself around other people so of course I would jump to the worst case scenario. Unfortunately, I don't even feel confident around my own best friends. Anytime I see that I'm being too feminine, I immediately catch my thoughts and rebase myself. I can literally feel my body pushing me to do one thing, but as soon as I realize what I'm doing I gather myself and act how society wants me to.

I've tried turning it into a joke, but as funny as it is it didn't help me personally. I may laugh in the moment, but when I go home I just think: "Why was it so funny that I was being feminine? Why does it have to be turned into a joke for me to be myself?" Which starts an avalanche of self doubt which I hate to go through. I have full, undoubted confidence when I'm alone. I can sing my heart out, strut through the kitchen, blare Hannah Montana and not feel an ounce of shame. And it feels good. But as soon as I see a shadow move, an eye glare, or even a reflection I'll halt and gather myself to present and acceptable me who isn't really me. That is the grand question. Gaining confidence to be in front of an audience. I've performed many plays in my time, and the part of Me is the hardest part I've had to play.

I relate to this so much. I completely understand what its like to not feel super confident in front of your friends, which is sometimes the worst thing about it all, you know they probably would accept you anyway but your brain says "Sorry there, you gotta get it together, they are gonna do something bad to you if you act like this in front of them"